ED survey

I found this survey while browsing some ED blogs.  I'm going to post my answers so that I can let you into the state of my recovery and my thoughts.  Please share your own with me in my comments, if you'd like =)

Size: 2 [US]
Age: 25
Height: 5'2"
Highest Weight: 142 lbs
Lowest Weight: 105 lbs
Current Weight:  Floating between 110-113
Goal Weight: Something less than 113

Favorite Diet Food?
I don't do 'diet' food anymore.  My favorite health foods are fruits.  I like apples, oranges, watermelon, strawberries, kiwis, etc.  I also love bananas, but I get stomach aches when I eat them.  I think this is my body's reaction to eating only a banana and a Jell-O for lunch for 3 years in high school.  It's rejecting bananas!  hah

Favorite Binge Food?
Cookies, chips.

Favorite Exercise?
Weight training.

Thinspiration?
I don't have one.  I just want to be healthy, but I would like to have a nice body.  I will never have the body of a celebrity.  I am not a model and I don't have to look like one.  I don't have my own personal trainer and chef, so I will probably never look like I do!

What Makes You Slip Up?
When I'm out with my friends and everyone is eating eating eating.  Or when I start eating junk food.  Once I start, it's very very difficult for me to stop.

What Makes You Strong?
The fact that I've had ED for 11 years and that I'm recovering.  The fact that I am open with people about my ED and I'm not hiding it anymore.  The fact that I'm trying my damn hardest to have a normal attitude toward food, even though the idea is a hard one to grasp.  I'm the little train that could: I think I can, I think I can.

When Did It Start?
When I was 14.  Please see:


http://triumphantyasi.blogspot.com/2010/03/history.html

Does Anyone Know?
Yes.  I tell pretty much anyone, when it's relevant to whatever is going on.  My family denied it for years, but now I think they believe me.  And this is one of the most soul-bearing experiences I've ever shared with J.

Do You Want Help?
Sure.  I'm trying as much as I can to help myself, but a little extra help never hurts.

How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day?
1,000-1,500 usually.  Unless I binge, then it's a lot more :(

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror?
I see a girl that has a pretty face and has a decent body, but her body could always look more lean.

Are You In A Relationship?
Yes =D  Love u

Is It For Attention?
No.  When I have disordered eating thoughts and I want to be thin it's not for attention, it's because I feel so much more confident when I'm thinner.  I feel prettier and more fun.

Are You The Fat Or Thin One Out Of Your Friends?
This is kind of a ridiculous question.  All my friends are gorgeous.  I guess I'm one of the thin ones.

Are You Depressed?
No.  However, I do get overwhelmed with my ED and trying to recover.  Sometimes when I feel gross and fat I don't want to be with my friends or go out.

Ever Tried To Commit Suicide?
No.  I have never thought about suicide.  Even at the height of my Binge Eating Disorder I was lucky that I didn't think any suicidal thoughts.

Ever Been To A Psychologist?
A few times

Are You On Any Medication?
No

I AM -
[ ] anorexic
[x] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[ ] hungry
[x] thirsty
[ ] drinking something
[ ] eating something
[ ] under 100lbs
[ ] starving myself
[ ] participating in a fast
[ ] vegetarian

PEOPLE -
[ ] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[ ] call me fat
[x] say I’m skinny
[ ] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[ ] spread rumors about me
[ ] force me to eat
[x] say I eat too much
[ ] wish I’d eat more
[ ] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic
[ ] have tried to stop me

I WISH -
[x] I was thin
[x] I had a better body
[ ] I didn't have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[x] I was under 110lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[ ] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[ ] I was prettier
[x] I could stop being ana/mia
[ ] I had a boy/girlfriend
[ ] I could disappear


I LOVE -
[ ] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference
[ ] shaking
[ ] being weak
[x] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic/bulimic
[ ] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

I HATE -
[ ] when people stare
[ ] being asked questions
[ ] having to eat
[ ] being single
[ ] wearing short skirts
[x] being fat
[x] looking ugly
[x] feeling this way
[ ] fat people

I NEED -
[x] more support
[ ] people to stay out of my business
[ ] more friends
[ ] someone to know
[ ] less food
[x] less bingeing
[ ] more water
[ ] a gym membership
[ ] to lose 50 lbs
[ ] to lose 30 lbs
[ ] to lose 10 lbs


If I filled out this survey a few years ago, I bet the answers would be a hell of a lot different.