Sometimes I feel like a broken record. Above is a picture from last night's sushi date with a few of my friends. I love taking pictures and I always have my camera with me for fun events. The real problem comes when I look at the pictures later at home.
I analyze the shit out of pictures that I'm in.
"Do my arms look big? OMG they DO look big!!!"
"Do my legs look flabby?"
"Do I look big?"
"Do I look chubby?"
"Do I look like I've gained 5 pounds?"
"Am I fatter than the other people in the picture?"
"Do I have face chub?"
.
.
.
FUCK. The above picture from last night really got to me. I'm in the middle. The two girls beside me are TINY I mean like bone-thin. No, I don't expect to look like them. However, before I started exercising, my arms and upper body were very thin. I carried my weight in my upper thigh area. And now that I have gained a few pounds (of muscle I think/hope), my weight has redistributed everywhere. My arms and upper body are bigger. And my skinny upper body was something that I really liked about my body before. And now it's gone.
I know I don't look fat. I know. It's just so difficult for me to accept that the one thing I really liked about my body is pretty much gone.
Maybe the fact that my thighs and butt are much more toned now could make up for my long-gone skinny top. But most pictures are from the waist up, ergo not documenting my toned legs and butt. I hate feeling like I look fat in pictures. They remind me of my high school senior pictures in which I looked like a wooly mammoth.
Oii vey. I have serious body image issues.
So tell me, is there a particular body part that you love/hate?
Am I completely crazy?
:)
Thighs. Absolutely, positively hate my thighs. I hate wearing shorts, and even feel like they are disgusting in jeans. I have a ton of strength in them, left-over from cheerleading and now squats...but I still hate the way they look. :/
ReplyDeleteI dislike my arms too, but not nearly as much. You look great Yasi!
I hear you there, sister!
ReplyDeleteI'm not completely in love with my thighs either.
And thank you for the compliment. I am just having a semi-difficult time adjusting to way my body looks now.
I have good days and bad days.
Eh, at least I'm not starving all the time hah.
I would have to agree with you and say I hate my arms. I used to figure skate competitively in high school, so I was very toned all over. So, other the last 3 years as I've gained weight, I hate my arms!
ReplyDeleteAlthough its like you said, at least I'm not starving all the time anymore...cause I pretty much starved all through high school.
Totally feel you!
ReplyDeleteI don't absolutely hate my arms. I just hate that they've gotten bigger :(