But, I did have good reason to feel good about my body because even the (very busy) week of the wedding I hit the gym up three times. And on our honeymoon I even went to the gym--twice!
After the honeymoon, we started moving and setting up house, and our eating habits were not the best. I felt fat, and kinda blah, but I told myself that this is not how I normally eat, so it's OK. But for the last week and a half my eating habits normalized, so I started to feel better about myself. However, since I've been working on the house, I've been living in PJs. And who doesn't feel good in their PJs?!
Backtrack to yesterday... I went to the gym. I felt great! It was the 2nd time I had been to the gym this week, and since the honeymoon.
Then I went to get dressed to go to the grocery store. I came up with a really cute outfit in my head, involving skinny jeans. I grabbed the pieces out of my closet, and tugged the jeans on. (In reality, I tried on 3 different skinny jeans out of my closet).
And in every single one, I.Felt.HUGE.
I swear these jeans looked fine before the honeymoon. I couldn't have gained very much weight. I looked pretty much the same. And my face looks the same, so I couldn't have gained weight (I get face pudge when I gain). So I did the only thing that I could do, I put on a long flowy top with the skinny jeans so that I didn't feel like a cow, and I went out the door. But to my credit, at least I still went out! There used to be days that I didn't leave the house when I felt fat.
So, today, I tried on the jeans from yesterday. And I didn't feel fat. Or big. Or anything. I felt like I looked good- well, in at least two of them.
Brain, what is wrong with you!!! See, it wasn't the weight, or the mirror, or anything. It was your fucked up body image!
To be quite honest, I bought all of these jeans around 2-3 years ago. My body has change immensely. If they don't fit it's not because I'm fat. It's because I started working out and I probably gained muscle in my butt. That's it. The jeans don't fit how they used to because my body weight has shifted. Oh fucking well.
So, I did what any girl who hates and agonizes over fitting into a certain pair of jeans would do. I took the scissors to it, and shredded the mother fucker. Instant relief overtook my body. I will never ever have to worry about fitting into those jeans again. THERE.