No motivation for meal preparation

  Do you guys ever get in a food rut?  Because I sure as hell am in one right now.  I'm just NOT motivated to cook.  I don't even want to think of what I'll have for dinner until like a half hour before the hunger monster takes over.

  Before this crazy ride I had no problem just cooking some pasta or rice or some form of an all-carb dinner.  It was quick, easy, and satisfying enough.  But now I'm trying to look at having more 'balanced' meals which for me means less carbs.

  

  And from my previous posts you know that I love eating my 2 pieces of whole wheat toast with cream cheese in the morning.  And most days I have some sort of a sandwich for lunch.  So for dinner, I've been trying to ease up on the carbs.

  Because of my lack of motivation to cook, I tried to come up with a fun quick meal tonight.  However, my meal = FAIL.

  I boiled chicken with onions, melted some American cheese on top and dipped in BBQ sauce.  And I ate it with a side salad.  It was so bla that I only ate 2 of the chickens and the salad.

  And because of my failure to plan my meals, I consumed a very small amount of calories today.  Since I haven't done a food log lately, I'll do one for today:

Breakfast:

-2 slices of 100% whole wheat toast with 1/3 fat Philly cream cheese and tea

(~300 cal)

Lunch:

-strawberries

-14 raw almonds, handful of carrots, 1/2 small turkey sandwich (wheat bread, turkey deli meat, tomato, lettuce)

(~280 cal)

Dinner:

-2 small chicken breast strips with 2% american cheese, side salad (lettuce, tomato, carrots, garbanzo beans, raspberry vinaigrette dressing)

(~200 cal)

Snack:

-Lavashak  (basically a Persian snack that is pressed out dried berries)

(~50 cal)

Grand Total: 830 cal

  I wish I had a personal chef so that I wouldn't have to eat boring food.  Ha!  Right.

=)

Pretty Food

  

    I am happy with my diet and my lifestyle: a simple statement that means a lot coming from a person recovering from disordered eating.  On top of that I have not weighed myself in over 2 weeks.  I'm feeling much less 'eating disordered' and much more 'health conscious'.  I've been going out of my way to try to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, nuts, and protein.  And I've barely eaten ANY junk-y food in the past couple of weeks.  

    Today was a really fun food day.  I had a schmorgasbord of different healthy foods and they were all absolutely delicious!  For breakfast I had the usual 2 pieces of 100% wheat toast with cream cheese and tea.  Before I went to the gym I had a plum and a handful of almonds (an excellent source of good fat).  After the gym I went grocery shopping and bought lots of yummy fresh foods.  In fact, there wasn't ONE thing in a container in my cart (well except the deodorant!).  On the way to the car I snacked on carrots, and once I got home I snacked on broccoli.  Then I made a fabulous dinner of salmon (This is SO EASY:  massage olive oil, lemon pepper, and salt on the salmon fillet, wrap in foil and put on the George Forman Grill for 15 minutes!), a salad (lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, avocados, with salt and pepper and raspberry vinaigrette dressing), and cheesy mashed potatoes from scratch (click here for recipe).  And I plan on eating some watermelon after dinner for dessert (YUM!!). 

    Between going to the gym with my friend and eating foods that resemble a rainbow, I am pretty damn jolly!  I thought it would be fun to break the foods down by color (Fun for ME!!  Not sure if it's fun for you to read, hehe)  :

Red- tamotoes

Green- broccoli, romaine lettuce, avocado, olive oil 

Orange-  carrots

Pink- salmon, watermelon

Purple- plum

yellow- cheese

Brown- almonds, 100% wheat bread

  The only rainbow color missing is blue and the only blue foods I can think of are blueberries!  Anywho, I have a few topics that I would like to blog about in the near future including:

-Why 113 pounds is such a "critical" number to me

-Being forced to eat out and the stress it causes

-The value put on thinness and body image and body dysmorphia

    But I may not be able to blog a lot in the next week or so because I'm graduating and my parents are coming in for the week!!

    So tell me, when you eat do you think of the nutritional content and try to eat a 'well-balanced' diet or do you just look at calories or fat? (I used to do the latter, now I do the former)

    Also, is there anything in particular you'd like to read a post about?

    Have a great week everyone!!

  :)

Kick Ass, Magnolias, and Cheesy Mashed Potatoes from Scratch

  I kicked my own ass today with my work out.  It was really gorgeous out so I opted out of going to the gym and decided to go for a run instead.  Well, it turned out to be a wog (walk-jog =)) because after 10 minutes of running, I had a cramp in my oblique and it hurt like a bitch!  So I had to space out running and walking.

  I wogged for 35 minutes and really took in the sunshine and the blooming magnolia trees.  Growing up, my aunt had a giant magnolia tree in her yard.  My favorite time of year was when that tree bloomed.  It was so pure and beautiful.  And I'm lucky enough to live in a neighborhood with a thousand magnolia trees blooming every where!

  Anyway, after I came back home I did strength training exercises  (~30 minutes)  with my 5 and 8 pound dumbbells.  I would tell you what they were, but I have no idea what some of them are called.  All I know is that my bum was burning and that I couldn't wait till my ab exercises, just so I could lay on my back and be off my feet!  Feeeeel the burn baby.  And feel the burn, I did =D

  Here is my food log for the day, but I'll keep it nice and sweet since I'm a creature of habit:

*Breakfast:
-Same thing I eat every day (and love!)

*Lunch:
-PB&J
-1/4 cup milk

*Dinner:
- Boiled egg/avacado/tomato/carrot/lettuce/raspberry vin. dressing salad
-cheesy mashed potatos

*Snack:
-tea (LOVE tea!)

  I do want say that I have been trying very hard to actually *make* everything that I put in my mouth.  Well, except things like bread, pasta, cheese, yogurt and milk.  Mostly because I don't live on a farm and have a cow named Betsy.  But I did want to share with you how I make my cheesy mashed potatoes because I've been asked by multiple people.

  I actually make the cheesy mashed potatoes from scratch.  It's easy and takes 10 minutes, tops.

****Cheesy Mashed Potatoes:

1.  Wash potato thoroughly and poke holes everywhere with a fork or a knife.  I like to break the potato apart a little so it can breath.

2.  Wrap potato in several layers of paper towel.  Run the potato+paper towel under water so that the paper towels are completely soaked.

3.  Microwave wrapped potato on high for 7-10 minutes.

4.  Be careful when removing the potato-- do it with an oven mitt!  Remove potato and place in bowl.

5.  Mash potato with a fork.  Add some water so that your potato is easier to mash.

6.  Add a tiny bit of butter and mix with mashed potatoes.

7.  Put any type of cheese that you like on top of your mashed potatoes.  I used to put sharp cheddar on top, but now I put 1 slice of 2% American cheese.  Microwave bowl with mashed potatoes and cheese for 1 minute.

8.  Take bowl out and mix cheese with mashed potatoes.  Season to taste:  I like salt and pepper.

=)  Enjoy eating your own mashed potatoes, made from scratch!



  On a final note, I REALLY need to go grocery shopping.  I am now completely out of fresh fruits and veggies & I hate not being able to eat them.

  So tell me, have you done a kick ass work out recently?

4 months

'Mock up' of what I want my hair to look like.  I did this myself, don't judge!! ;)

4 months from tomorrow I will be married!!  My dress fitting is in 2 weeks and I am so so so so excited!!!  It's so odd to see it all coming together.  I can't wait to actually see what my dress will look like after it's altered.  I'm having it altered from an A-line to a mermaid, so it hugs my curves.  And I have to have the boobs taken in a LOT.  =P

I'm also graduating from grad school in 2 weeks.  And having my second wedding hair trial.  2 weeks 2 weeks 2 weeks!  Crazy.

I have not touched sweets or junk food in THREE days.  3 days, people!  No chocolates, no nothin'.  Mind you, I'm PMSing, so chocolate sounds pretty amazing right about now.  The hardest is around 8 pm, which is the time I've gotten used to having 2-3 Dove chocolates with tea.  So tonight I had my tea without chocolates and without sugar.  I never drink my tea without sugar.  What is this world coming to?!

Anyway, here is my food log for today.  It's pretty low cal because I haven't exercised or done anything besides school work.

*Breakfast:
-2 slices of 100% wheat bread w/ 1/3 fat philly cream cheese + tea

*Lunch:
-1/4 cup hummus with 1 pita bread
-Light & Fit vanilla yogurt

*Dinner:
-small plate of wheat pasta with shrimp & ragu sauce + salad (lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, avocados, raspberry vinaigrette dressing)

*Snack:
-two 10-cal Jell-O cups
-tea

On another note, I really need to go grocery shopping.  I'm completely out of fruit and need to buy chicken, yogurt, etc etc.

Sunday night post

This is my 2nd post of the day, but I guess I just feel like blogging.  I ate very healthfully today.  I had J take all my left-over Easter candy and my miniature Dove chocolates and Hershey's kisses out of the house.  Here is what I ate:

Breakfast:
-2 slices of 100% whole wheat bread with 1/3 fat philly cream cheese + tea

Lunch:
-1 pita bread and 1/2 cup of hummus

Dinner:
-a good sized salad: lettuce, tomato, carrots, avocado, 1 hard-boiled egg, with salt, pepper, and fat-free raspberry vinaigrette dressing
-1 vanilla Light & Fit yogurt

Even though I ate really well today, I've felt nauseous for a good part of the day.  In fact, I'm feeling nauseous as I type.  I feel like the salad and yogurt are swimming in my stomach and it just feels EWW.

  I'm really feeling the pressure to eat better and not be pudgy.  Graduation is in less than 3 weeks and I don't want to look like Pudgy McFatface in all my pictures.  I'm also scared shitless of what I will look like on our wedding day.  Sometimes I think that I'm crazy for wanting to go through this healing journey now.  Every bride wants to look their skinniest and most beautiful for their wedding day.  And here I am, having gained 5 pounds since last Fall.  I haven't gained 5 pounds in 4 years.  What the eff am I doing?  But then I think that my body looks more toned and I've probably just gained muscle.  I actually like my butt and my thighs, I'm not embarrassed of them like before.  Before, even when I was 107, I felt like my thighs were squishy.  Because they were.  We'll see what this whole cutting-out-junk does for me.

  On top of that my mom, who is always on a journey to lose weight, has a goal weight of 110 for the wedding, which is 2 or 3 pounds less than what I weigh now.  I know how stupid and ridiculous this sounds, but I can't believe that my and my mom's weight is so close right now.  She is 115 and I'm 112/113.  I mean I know she's ~ 2" shorter than me, but still.  I, the daughter, am supposed to be the skinnier one!  I totally feel awful writing about this, but it is how I feel.  I told my mom I felt this way, in jest, and she was like "well, you'll lose those 5 pounds the week before the wedding anyway with the stress." And all I said was "I hope so".

  Okay, that's all for now.  P.S.  I didn't eat any junk today =)

Easter, oh Easter

Easter, what did you do to me?  All my good eating and exercising went out the window for 5 days.  Yech.

My future mother in law gave me a basket of candy, chocolate, cake, etc.  This beautiful Easter basket contained so much goodness that the goodies literally levitated from the basket and into my mouth.  My teeth barely did any chewing.  Ladies and gentlemen, I think I may have my ticket to fame: food levitation followed by complete disappearance of all food in the room.

I feel gross.  I gained a couple of pounds.  Now, weight fluctuates during the day, so I might have not actually gained that much, but I gained a couple FOR SURE.  And on top of that, I just feel like yuck.

But I went to the gym today (Thursday).  And it was actually a great workout.  The last time I went was Saturday- a great 2-hour run/weight training workout with J.  So, yes, it took me a few days to get back into the swing of things, but I went to the gym.  And since this is a lifestyle change, that's all I can do.  I can't give up like I used to and just say that I effed it up, so it's not worth a damn anymore.  All I can do is get back on this ride and keep on truckin'.  So, guess what, BEEP BEEP, coming through!

Here is my food diary for today.  I tried to keep my caloric/fat intake low in order to shed the Easter calories which are probably on an egg hunt somewhere in my rather larger behind.

Breakfast:

-2 1/2 servings of Cheerios multi grain with 2% milk (J introduced me to this and it is sooooooo deicious and filling!!  I may never switch back to buying Honey Nut Cheerios!  *gasp*)

Lunch:

-60 calorie Light & Fit yogurt

-1 apple

-1 Nature Valley Honey& Oats bar

Dinner:

-3 oz salmon with salad (avocado's, tomatos, lettuce, raspberry vinaigrette) and cheesy mashed potatoes (from scratch)

After dinner snack:

-3 Dove Dark chocolate miniatures with decaffeinated tea

Oh and a weird thing happened today.  During my drive home from the gym I started craving a tomato with salt.  My brain kept repeating the word tomato tomato tomato tomato and I could almost taste it in my mouth.  So I did what any girl with a craving would do:  I stood over the sink and ate a tomato with salt.  What the heck?  Who craves a tomato?!  Was my body low on Lycopene or something?  haha

Have you had any weird cravings lately?

Food, nutrition, and set-points

  This will be a long post, but it's a good one!!

  I just got back from the gym, where I had a fabulous workout.  I did 30 minutes of elliptical, and 40 minutes of weight training/ab-work.  And I came out to 60 degree weather outside.  I think the endorphins and the fabulous weather have made me high on life!!

  But, one of the reasons that I am extra happy is because I weighed myself today after not having gone on the scale for about 2 weeks.  To tell you the honest truth, I was scared of going on there since I hadn't really worked out a ton the past 2 weeks, but I had been eating 3 meals a day and not ever really going hungry.  I was absolutely positive that I had gained weight, even if it didn't show that much in my clothes.  But I figured, what the hey, I need to see what my weight is.  I truly expected 115 (Lb) since the last time I weighed myself I was ~ 112 or so.

  So, once I got to the gym I made a beeline for the scale, took off my shoes, and awaited the moment of truth.  And the arrow landed on 110.3 or something.  What?!  I LOST weight??  Now, let me just reiterate that my goal in this journey isn't to lose weight, but to get healthy without gaining a ton of weight.  But a girl can be happy about a little weight loss, right?! ;)  But in all reality the actual reason that I was ecstatic was that I have been eating normal healthy meals without restricting my calories (eating 3 times a day plus healthy snacks in between), and I hadn't been working my butt off at the gym. So what does this tell me?  It tells me that my body has pretty much found its set-point: the weight that it's comfortable at.

  People DO YOU REALIZE what this means to me?!!?!?!  This means that I can eat like a normal person, not having to skip meals and I won't turn into a whale!!!  This means that my body is happy, and that the food that I am feeding my body is being used for energy, not being stored in my thass (thigh-ass area).  This also means that maybe I was slowing down my own metabolism before when I was restricting calories and not eating lunch.  Because I eat all the time now and my body isn't clinging to the weight like a lifeboat.  I would, in fact, call today a break-through.  If I had a therapist, I'm pretty sure that's what it would be called.  Can I get an Amen?!

  Also, since I started this healthy lifestyle journey back in January, I have noticed some changes in my body.  Obviously I'm a bit heavier (~3 pounds) than I have been for the past few years, but it's probably just muscle gain.  I used to have very skinny arms and upper body and flat but not super hard stomach (calorie restriction and good genes) and kinda of cushiony butt and cushiony upper thigh region.  I especially disliked the outer sides of my thighs.  Now my arms and upper body have gotten a bit bigger (and much stronger), my stomach is more muscular and hard (still pretty flat, but it's not as "in" as it used to be), my butt has toned and has lifted up, my upper thighs are hard and toned, and the sides of my thighs are not much of an issue anymore.  So, my best way of describing the way my body has changed is to say that my weight has redistributed.  Before I used to have a tiny top and a heavier bottom, and now I look very balanced.  I think I like it =)

  So, enough jibber jabber for today... Here is my food log and since it's only 3:30 pm, I'll guess what I'm to be eating the rest of the day.

Breakfast:

-100% wheat bagel with 1/3 fat philly cream cheese+ tea (Can you tell that I'm a creature of habit when it comes to my breakfasts? ;)  Most people would find eating the same thing boring.  I, on the other hand, look forward to it! )

Mid-morning snack:

-1 apple

Lunch:

-Tuna sandwich:  2 pieces of 100% wheat bread+ 1 can of bumble bee tuna + celery + 1 2% American cheese slice

Afternoon snack (guess):

-Light & Fit strawberry yogurt

Dinner (guess):

-Shrimp stir fry over brown rice

Late night snack (guess):

- 2 or 3 Dove chocolates with tea

  Oh and before I forget, I sometimes use Caloriecount.com to track my calories and the nutritional value of the foods that I eat.  Well, this website now has an 'analysis' button which analyzes the nutritional value of what you ate that day.  Like it tells you if you need more fats or proteins or carbs, and it also tells you if you are getting a good amount of Vitamin C or other nutrition info.  I think this is an amazing tool!  Especially if your goal is to eat nutritious food, not just weight loss or something of that sort.  Anyway, just thought I'd share =)

I hope you are all having an amazing day!

  

  

Busy B

Hey ya'll,
  I've been slacking on posting because I've been really busy.  So, first of all MSU is in the FINAL FOUR!!!  Whoop!!  I spent Friday night watching the game with friends and that was really fun.
  Saturday, I got to do some weight training.  J and I were going to go running outside, and we geared up to go.  But once we were outside it was *insanely cold*, so we turned right back around and came inside.  It was funny =)
  On Sunday I was in a culture show that lasted all day.  And today I had to go to my internship really early.  So I came home and decided to take a 1 hour nap and then go to the gym.  Well... THREE hours later, I got up, extremely disoriented!  And by that time, the gym was not really in the picture anymore, haha.  I seriously can't believe that I napped/slept for that long!  I must've been REALLY tired.
  Oh and for dinner I made shrimp stir fry over brown rice.
  So, the past 2 weeks have not been very good for me gym-wise because I've been slacking/too busy to go.  However, I have kept my healthy eating habits up.  Obviously I'm eating more than I used to eat before because I actually eat lunch now, every day.  And again, this is a huge deal to me, because part of me is like "I'm eating all day long!  I'm gonna get so effing FAT".  But then the other part of me thinks that it's so nice to not be starving throughout the day.  I never knew how hungry I actually was during the day until I started taking care of that hunger.  Also, I do look a bit 'healthier', which is a hard pill for me to swallow, but I don't know...  A benefit though is that now that I'm eating well my nails have gotten really healthy and barely ever break.
  Anyway, so here is my food diary for today:

Breakfast:
-100% wheat bagel w/ 1/3 fat Philly cream cheese

Lunch:
-PBJ sandwich + 80 calorie Light & Fit yogurt + carrots

Dinner:
-Shrimp stir fry over brown rice

  How're you guys doing with your eating and exercising habits?

Get back in the groove, lazy!

I have not worked out for FIVE days.  This is the longest I've gone without working out since January.  And I feel like a lazy bum!  I have gotten up every day saying that by the end of the day I will either go to the gym or go running outside.  But I have managed to come up with a multitude of uninteresting tasks to do instead of working out (work on thesis, work on internship literature search assignment...).  I really and truly don't know what got me out of my rhythm, but something did.  The only thing that I can do is just do it tomorrow.  So, hopefully I will be reporting in having done some type of a work out tomorrow night!

Here's my food diary for today:

Breakfast:
-wheat bagel w/ 1/3 fat philly cream cheese + tea

Lunch:
-nature valley bar + 2 eggs

Afternoon snack:
-kiwi fruit

Dinner:
-cheesy mashed potato with fish

After dinner snack:
-2 Dove dark chocolates w/ non-caffeinated (!) earl grey tea <~~~~~~~Amazing at night =D

Oh and to mention, I ate pretty badly this weekend.  As in, I got one of those ready-to-bake chocolate chip cookie things and finished off the whole thing.  By myself.  Quite the accomplishment!  I am disappointed with my eating this weekend and the fact that I haven't worked out.  But, I can't punish myself.  I just have to get back into my normal routine.

Wish me luck!  (And hope that I work out tomorrow, haha)

Beyond tired

I am soooo above and beyond tired right now. It's 6 pm and I'm too tired to even take a shower. So, I will keep this really short with what I ate today and a little bit about the gym. Oh, and if you were wondering why I'm so tired it's because I barely got 1 or 2 hours of sleep last night! Why? I have NO IDEA!! But it was horrible.

*Breakfast:
-100% wheat bagel + 1/3 fat philly cream cheese + tea

*Mid-morning snack:
-50 calorie Light & Fit +8 almonds

*Lunch:
-Chicken sandwich on 100% wheat bread with avocado, lettuce and raspberry dressing

*Mid-afternoon snack:
-1 plum + a handful of mini-carrots

*Dinner:
-will probably eat chicken pasta with a side of broccoli


On another note, I did a full gym work out with my eyes half closed today. Don't try that at home, kids! I'm glad I went. However, it was kind of weird. Haha. I also weighed myself and I weigh 112.5 pounds. Up from last week! I really shouldn't have weighed myself. I was wearing more clothes than last time, and it was later in the day, so there was the food weight in my body. Although I've been eating 'normally' now for about a month and it's fantastic. So it's kind of hard to scoff at the weight. I mean, I care. It bothers me that the number on the scale has gone up. But I look great and I don't look 'fat'. So I dunno, man! This journey's pretty crazy on the emotions.

Ok I'm gonna make myself shower and then eat. (I'm STARVING).

Are you a Runner? Because you look like one.

Hello blog-world! ( WOW.  that was so incredibly dorky that I'm even a bit embarrassed.)

Ok now...

I had a hard-core session at the gym today.  I mean it was HARD.CORE.  There were 3 guys from the MSU basketball or football or something team at the gym.  And while I was doing my crazy hand-weight and ab work outs and sweating like a jungle creature (actually, do animals sweat?), I looked over at them and thought "You're probably all thinking, man this girl is INTENSE... it's kinda intimidating, and you know what- I AM".  I always find guy/girl dynamics so interesting at the gym.  Like today.  They guys are working out in a group, being loud, trying to get attention, trying to get the crazy-sweating-jungle-creature to look at them, but hey guess what this creature is having such a freaking good workout that she's gonna completely ignore you.  She is JUST.THAT.BADASS.

But in all reality, I didn't actually fully realize until today how much stronger my body has gotten since I began working out this January.  On the hip abductor, I have gone up from two 75-80-pounds sets of 20, to two 95-110-pound sets of 20.  On the butt machine I have increased from 120 to 130 pounds ( 3 sets of 10).  And my abs have gotten super tight and strong.  I actually did sort of a show-off ab-move today just to see if I could do it.  I lay on my back on the mat, and reached my hands behind my head and held onto this large square column thing that is connected from the gym floor to the ceiling,I put my feet together and stretched my legs out on the mat, and then I raised them and lowered them very slowly for many, many, reps. It was awesome!! You're usually supposed to do that move with a spotter, and I couldn't even do it when I was 14! Here is sorta what it looks like:

http://cdn-viper.demandvideo.com/media/fcc24ca5-dbb1-450d-a51e-d085af44a6e1/jpeg/80d7e7c4-1f98-44d3-a449-626a73deb62d_6.jpg

And the cherry on top was that when I was getting off of the hip-abductor machine there was this man next to me. He asked me if what I was doing was hard and I said "well, yes, I was pressing 110 pounds and then switched to 95 and that's a lot of weight!". And he said "wow, you made it look easy!" He then asked me if I was a runner and I said "No, I just work out here 4 times a week". And he said "Oh, you look like a runner". I cannot tell you how that is *music to my hears*. I LOVE the way runner's body's look. So, yes, take THAT bad-body-image-day-of-yesterday! I look like a runner! A 50 year old man said so! *Shifting eyes* Haha.

Here's a quick list of what I ate today. I haven't had dinner yet because I have Persian dance practice in 20 minutes.

Breakfast:
-100% wheat bagel, 1/3 fat philly cream cheese, tea

Mid-morning snack:
-50 calorie Light & Fit

Lunch:
-2 hard boiled eggs, 1 orange

Mid-afternoon snack:
-1 piece of 100% wheat bread, One 10-calorie jello snack

Ok, I gotta get ready for dance practice. Yay for a good body-image day! But I will leave you with this. It's really interesting/ridiculous how much stock we put into what other people say about us. I have the same exact body as I did yesterday, yet today I feel like a champion and yesterday I felt like poo.

Now chew that little nugget.

Bikinis and the hyperventilation that follows

Hey guys!
  I was really just planning on going to bed, but then I realized that I had Persian dance practice tomorrow (we practice barefoot), and the nail polish on my toes are chipped badly.  CHIPPED. EW.  I really really really dislike when my nail polish is chipped, especially when it's bad!  So that means that I'll be up for a little bit putting on my favorite shade of polish.

  Anyway (toes are drying), today was a long day.  I started my internship in the morning and it looks as if I'll have a lot of really cool opportunities to do cool projects and actually work right in the public health field.  So needless to say, I'm PSYCHED!  After the internship, I went back and worked at my regular job.  So no working out for me today.  That's just as well because my body probably needed the day off to recalibrate.  Oh!  And I failed to mention a particular right butt cheek cramp that I somehow got yesterday.  OUCH.

  Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:
-100% wheat bagel, 1/3 fat philly cream cheese, tea

Mid-morning snack:
-50 calorie Light & Fit

Lunch:
-PB&J sandwich
-1 plum

Afternoon snack:
-Carrots

Dinner:
-Zereshk polo (described in last night's post- basically chicken stew over rice and barberry) with a side salad of lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, avocados, with balsamic vinaigrette dressing


  Today was not a great body image day.  A few weeks ago I had ordered a few of the same swimsuit (different colors) off Victoria's Secret.  I ordered Smalls, and when they got here they were too big.  So I exchanged them for XS, which I received in the mail today.  When I put them on I just looked bleeeh.  They fit, but I just look thicker somehow now.  I hate this.  I mean, I realize that I'm eating a real lunch now and I'm not skipping meals, but I'm exercising.  Shouldn't that balance out?  Maybe my body has just gotten more muscular.  I just felt like my upper thighs were the thighs of a wild buffalo, which would only be beneficial if we were in the wild west and I was being chased by cowboys.  But I'm not.  I'm just standing in front of my mirror feeling like a fat piece of meat with a head.

  And before this whole "healthy lifestyle" change I would never ever ever eat a PB&J sandwich for lunch and then rice and chicken and the works for dinner.  A PB&J sandwich was a luxury for me (calorie-wise) because the peanut butter is fattening.  But damn it, the butter of the peanut is just.so.delicious!!!!

  My mom and John tell me that it's just in my head.  But how can it be in my head if my weight has gone up a couple of pounds (may be muscle) and I look bigger in the mirror.  My eyes are seeing just the same as before!

  So yeah... today was a bit of a struggle, but only after the swim-suit fiasco.  How was your day?

Spring is almost here!

It was almost in the mid-50's today in MICHIGAN!  And it's barely mid-March!  Let us pray and hope to the almighty weather Gods that the glorious sunshines decides to stay.

Today was another great day, although I did have some disordered eating thoughts.  First, I'll list what I ate:

*Breakfast (9 am):
-100% wheat bagel with 1/3 fat Philly cream cheese and tea

*Mid-morning snack (11 am):
-50 calorie Light & Fit strawberry and cream yogurt

*Lunch (1 pm):
-chicken sandwich on wheat toast with tomatoes, avocados, lettuce and raspberry vinaigrette dressing
-orange

*Dinner (7:30 pm):
-A persian dish called 'zereshk polo' wich consists of a stew-like chicken breast cooked with onions and cinnamon poured over white rice with cooked barberry.
-side salad of lettuce, tomatoes, avocados, and carrots

The reason that I feel a little guilty about my food today is because I probably exceeded 1200 calories.  I'm still trying to get used to eating lunch everyday and not feeling bad about it.  You see, I used to only eat something verrry small for lunch, and save the majority of my calories for dinner.  So, now that I'm eating lunch, I'm most likely getting extra calories.
However, I did stop eating dinner when I was full, not when everything on my pate was gone, and there was some rice and chicken left over.

Honestly though, I shouldn't feel that guilty because I worked out for over an hour today at the gym.  I did 25 minutes of the elliptical, 10 minutes on the stepping machine, and then 40 minutes of strength training with weights, machines, and ab-work.

I also need to cut myself some slack because I've been working out ~4 times a week since January and my metabolism has probably gone up and well, when you work out, you're burning more calories.

So yes, that was my day today.

Oh another note, I start my unpaid internship with the Michigan Department of Community Health tomorrow morning.  I'm really excited!!

Now, off I go to clean the mess I made while cooking dinner ;)

Grocery Shopping

Today was a good day.

As I write this, I am laying in bed covered with two blankets, even though it was almost 50 degrees out all day.  My two cats are taking cat naps around me, mostly because I'm too comfy to get up and let them out of my room (they tried begging for, like, 5 seconds and then plopped down).

Today was a pretty busy day, and I didn't get some of the stuff I wanted to get done, but I did go grocery shopping!  I know, I know, grocery shopping-- snooooooore.  Well, I absolutely LOVE grocery shopping. I don't really like the actually dragging myself to the store after work part, but once I'm in door it's as if the gates of heaven have opened!  Everything that I could think of (mostly) in one place?  Yes, please!

I got a great variety of food and I semi-violated the Golden Rule of Grocery Shopping... I didn't fully stick to my list.
However, I did get great 180 calorie bagels, 2% milkfat American cheese, Jello cups, Light & Fit yogurts, and black plums.  And this is all on top of my usual lettuce, tomatoes, apples, oranges, chicken, fish, tuna, cat food, etc list.  And according to J (fiance), tuna should be lumped in under cat food because "cats and humans should NOT eat the same things, and if your cats like it you shouldn't eat it!".  Can you tell he hates tuna?  One time he actually physically removed himself from the room in which I was eating tuna because "the smell makes (him) gag".  That being said, I had to buy 8 cans of tuna- 4 for me, 4 for the cats ;)

Since this week is Spring Break for my university, the gym that I belong to (university gym) closes at 7 pm.  I didn't get done grocery shopping until 5:30, and I usually need a good hour and fifteen minutes at the gym.  This doesn't include the 15 minute drive there and changing out of my work clothes, etc.  And I also didn't want to leave my groceries sitting in my car for that long.  So I decided to skip the gym for today and work out at home.

My at home work-out was semi-satisfying because I didn't get to do my 40 minutes of the elliptical and step-thingy machine, and I didn't get to do my leg and butt machines.  So I spent about 40 minutes doing my normal mat-work with 3-pound weights that I had at home and I tried a few new exercises.  But it made me wish that I had heavier weights.  I got two 3-pounds dumbbells when I first started exercising 4 times a week in January, but now I'm up to 5 and 8 pounds weights, and the 3 pound weights were kind of silly.  But hey, at least I got some exercise in and I ate really well.

Also, I'm thinking of putting up a food-diary of what I ate during the day.  What do you guys thing about that?  Is that something that would be interesting?

I will put one up for today anyway.  As a disclaimer, I forgot to set my alarm and didn't wake up until 10 am (when J called me), and I didn't eat 'breakfast' until 11:30!  Don't worry, I didn't have to be at work until 1 pm :)

*Breakfast (11:30):

-2 slices of 100% wheat toast with 1/3 fat Philly cream cheese and tea

*Lunch/weird mid-afternoon snack (3:00 pm):

-hard-boiled egg, carrots

*Late-afternoon snack (5:00 pm):

-a honeycrisp apple (Yum...my favorite kind!)

*Dinner (8:30 pm):

-3 oz salmon left over from last night, 1/2 cup of pasta with Ragu and parmesan cheese, yummy salad (lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, carrots, chickpeas, with a raspberry vinaigrette dressing)

*Late-night snack (9:45):

-10-calorie strawberry jello and raspberry light and fit

So all in all, it was a pretty healthy, non-binging day.  I tried to get my fruits, veggies, protein, carbs, and fat by incorporating a variety of different foods into my meals.  The only screwy thing was that most of my meals were pushed back a few hours, because of my apparent inability to set an alarm.

So, tell me, how was your day?  How was your exercise/food experience today?