Sometimes I feel like a broken record. Above is a picture from last night's sushi date with a few of my friends. I love taking pictures and I always have my camera with me for fun events. The real problem comes when I look at the pictures later at home.
I analyze the shit out of pictures that I'm in.
"Do my arms look big? OMG they DO look big!!!"
"Do my legs look flabby?"
"Do I look big?"
"Do I look chubby?"
"Do I look like I've gained 5 pounds?"
"Am I fatter than the other people in the picture?"
"Do I have face chub?"
FUCK. The above picture from last night really got to me. I'm in the middle. The two girls beside me are TINY I mean like bone-thin. No, I don't expect to look like them. However, before I started exercising, my arms and upper body were very thin. I carried my weight in my upper thigh area. And now that I have gained a few pounds (of muscle I think/hope), my weight has redistributed everywhere. My arms and upper body are bigger. And my skinny upper body was something that I really liked about my body before. And now it's gone.
I know I don't look fat. I know. It's just so difficult for me to accept that the one thing I really liked about my body is pretty much gone.
Maybe the fact that my thighs and butt are much more toned now could make up for my long-gone skinny top. But most pictures are from the waist up, ergo not documenting my toned legs and butt. I hate feeling like I look fat in pictures. They remind me of my high school senior pictures in which I looked like a wooly mammoth.
Oii vey. I have serious body image issues.
So tell me, is there a particular body part that you love/hate?
Am I completely crazy?