I hope that you're all having a fantastic Wednesday. I had a bit of time so I wanted to write about my intuitive eating journey. In short, it's going well. Very well, actually. :) I'm always hesitant to say anything in terms of my healing from disordered eating issues because I don't want to jinx it. But, I think I owe it to myself and you guys to give you an update.
Basically, I've been doing exactly what I said I would be doing-- I'm eating what I want when I want... and it's making me feel great. An important thing to note, however, is that I've had to try to sift through what my body wants and what my brain wants.
About seven years ago, at the height of my binge eating disorder, I visited a nutritionist who told me to eat intuitively, and to trust my body in telling me what and when it needs to be fed. For the next few days I tried to practice what she had recommended and I ate three very big meals each day. I figured, hey, it's breakfast/lunch/dinner time, I need to EAT. The problem with that was that I wasn't actually listening to what my body wanted or my hunger cues-I was just eating at conventional meal times. And I was eating big meals because I thought that it would help me break my abnormal relationship with food and control. In the end, I gave up on 'intuitive eating' after only a few days (and a few added pounds) and went on to restrict and binge for years on end.
Looking back, I'm pretty sure I know what 'went wrong'. After suffering from binge eating disorder for many years I had lost touch with my hunger cues and I had absolutely no trust in my body's signals. So what I thought was Intuitive Eating was really not.
This time around intuitive eating has come to me much more naturally. Very simply, I listen to my body's hunger cues and try to feed my body what it wants when it wants it. The biggest difference is that now I actually trust my bodies signals. I've gotten to the point at which I've lost interest in trying to force my body to be what it's not. I'm not into restricting my eating so that I can be 3 pounds thinner (I don't know (and frankly don't care) what I weigh because I seized weighing!). It's just not an option anymore. Attempting to live in harmony with food is much nicer on my mind and my body, and a lot more fun!
Over the last few weeks I've found that if I eat a lot on one day, my body is naturally not as hungry the next day. It's as simple as that. My control issues with food intake have very much lessened because I have so much more trust in my body. My body is a freaking machine; it knows what it's doing! Who am I to let my crazy throw a monkey wrench into this well-oiled powerhouse?
This realization and trust is very slowly (but surely) transforming my relationship with my body and my food intake. Now, I don't freak out as much If I eat tacos and dessert one night. Because I know that it's not going to send me into a tailspin of eating crap food. I trust that my body will want healthy good-for-me nutritious foods very soon and that my food intake will balance itself out to what my body needs (speaking caloric-ly and nutritious-ly). What's more is that if I want to eat a couple of chocolates at 3 o'clock in the afternoon because my body wants it, I do!
One thing though, is that I sometimes really have to differentiate between what my body wants and what I think it wants. Does my body really need to eat the entire bag of Milkyways? Probably not!
The cherry on top, however, is that my relationship with my body is also on it's way to improving (which, again, I'm hesitant to report... since my body image is so up and down!). Right now, I'm at a place in which I'm accepting my body for what it is. Some days I feel fabulous, and other days I don't-- and that's O.K. because to accept my body for exactly what it is and how it looks (and aren't all bodies wondrous?!) is a huge step in the right direction. Not to get all New Age-y on ya'll, but my body is my vessel, truly. It carries me through life. It's healthy. It's strong. And it's beautiful.
Btw... I got so tired of my hideous haircut that I got it cut short- TWICE!
Now I LOVE IT!!
Love u all!
So, tell me...
Do you partake in intuitive eating?
Does it work well for you?
Got any questions for me?!