Monday, January 3, 2011
Time Shall Fix
I got a haircut this past wednesday. I went home and immediately decided that I didn't like it and that it needed to be fixed--it needed more layers because it looked unbalanced. I was pretty peeved.
Come Saturday I went in for a re-cut and told my stylist to cut some layers into my hair to balance it out. The more she cut into it the worse it looked. It got to a point that I just told her I liked it and to stop cutting.
Well. My hair looks pretty shit. As in, I have long hair, with this really choppy bob on top. I have two hairstyles. As if my hair couldn't decide if it wanted to be long or if it wanted to be short.
I was devastated. But I had two options:
1. Act rashly and cut all my hair off into a chin length bob.
2. Act rationally and let the weird top layers grow out and have semi-normal hair in 3 months time.
After much contemplation I chose the latter. I decided to either pull it back until it grows out or to style my hair curly--and when styled this way it's somewhat bearable. I don't like it at all really, but what can I do?
This experience ties in nicely to my body image issues. Sometimes I have bad days. Days when I don't feel good about myself. Days when all I see in the mirror is a girl who would be perfect if only she lost a few. But obviously since she's sorta pudge, that lowers her worth.
But then I take a deep breath and remind myself that in time these negative feelings shall pass. They always do. My body has a happy weight and a positive mental state. A place where I can eat and have FUN eating. A place where food is a part of my life experience. A place at which I have enough energy to work out and feel fantastic afterwards. A place which my body obviously finds appealing, as if tries over and over again to get to that point.
So the days that I have negative thoughts and feelings of haste to resolve my current 'situation', I tell myself to just live it out. Let it go. Because chances are, a few days from now, I won't feel the same way. And if I do, then I'll let a few more days go by and re-evaluate.
Time shall fix.