Monday, May 2, 2011

The reason why my blogging topics have changed and how my derriere is a literal family tree

Hi, everyone!

  I hope you're all having a great Monday. :)  I want to address something that I've been thinking about.  As you may or may not have noticed, the topics that I blog about have changed quite a bit.  I haven't written about body or food related issues in some time, and there are a few reasons why.  The most important, most exciting, and most fantastic reason is simple:  because I haven't felt like I've had to.

Plainly, I have not been struggling with disordered eating or body image issues like I used to.  I have somehow, miraculously, gotten to a place where most of the time I like the way my body looks, and most of the time I'm not over-thinking my food choices.  Sure, there are days where I'm not happy with my body--nothing that I put on looks right, and I'm not completely comfortable with my physical self.  But, the brilliant thing is that I now know that these days are normal, they will pass, and I will most likely not feel bad about myself in a week's time.

I have learned to be patient.  ((Collective GASP!))

I have begun to cut myself some slack. ( Do I feel bloated and gross today?  Well, it might be because I'm a woman, and that type of feeling is normal at a certain time every month.  Key word:  normal!)

I try, every day, to embrace my body shape and be appreciative of the history that resides in my shape.  (Think about it-- many women in my family have this shape.  My ass shape could literally be traced in my family tree!  Cool stuff, right?!)

I tell myself, with the continuous help of my wonderful husband, that I am a 26-year old woman and that my body need not resemble that of a teenager.

I remind myself, daily, that my body is beautiful, healthy, and strong.  I am not tired 24-7, I have energy to work out and PLAY (!!), and I can take part in any activity without the topic of food taking over as the foremost thought on my mind.

For the first time, in a very, very, long time, I am seeing life with a new set of eyes.  I am enjoying so many things that I had missed out on in the past.  Now, I look forward to gatherings with friends.  I get excited about outings, BBQs, and trips.  I am able to drink beer, wine, and other alcoholic drinks, and enjoy them guilt-free.  This may seem very silly to some, but for years I did not partake in drinking because I was petrified of consuming liquid calories.  Now, I allow myself to drink occasionally.  I've even discovered that I love red wine, and some beers, too.  Woohoo for being an adult!!!

I am also fascinated with dressing and outfitting my body with clothes that flatter my shape.  More importantly, I have stopped forcing my body to be emaciated and thin so that I can fit into certain types of clothes that I deem cool.  If something doesn't look good on me, well, that sucks-- but, on to the next!

Ultimately, I have learned to RELAX!  This one is a big one for me.  I've had to teach myself to calm down, let go, and that nothing is as big of a deal as I think it is.

I feel like my thighs look HUGE in these pants.  I want to cry into my cereal.  My day is ruined.

So what?  Am I a model? (No.)  Does my livelihood depend on the fit of my pants? (No.)  Does it make me less of a person?  (Nope.)  Does this "problem" compare to any of the problems that 99.9% of the people in the world are dealing with right now?  (No...*while shrinking away, embarrassed*)

A dose of perspective is sometimes the best way to pull yourself out of a rut.

My point is, my Lovelies, that these are the reasons why my blogging topics have changed.  Now, I tend to desire blogging about fashion and style, rather than my every body-image issue.  Because, incredibly, I can deal with most of the issues myself. :)  Of course, I still read quite a few ED-related blogs and keep up with the ED-recovery community.  I will always be passionate and involved in ED issues and topics.

Well, I must go work on my thesis.

You are amazing and I am tremendously grateful for your support, love, and wonderful words.



  1. I noticed how much you have grown since I first started following your post. You are a huge source of inspiration for me, and I'm sure for many others as well.

    Just reading your blog posts that does not have much ED "talk" for lack of a better phrase does help me because it gives me hope that I will be in the same boat one day. It is also really nice to read something not ED related...and it gives me a break from all ED recovery blogs I read and follow. It is not that I DON'T appreciate their blogs. I truly do!

    For me to read your posts lately makes me feel so good for you, and for myself because there's hope.

    I do see that my blog will eventually evolve into something much more beautiful and uniquely me once I get to much healthier and better place.

    I do appreciate when you leave your comments to my posts and love what you have to say. Your support is always embraced and appreciated!!!

    <3 ya! And I am loving how your blog is becoming uniquely YOU and ED-FREE.

  2. The fact that you didn't drink b/c of liquid calories is not silly. I totally get it and still struggle with a lot of those distorted thoughts myself. That you have been able to move past most of those negative and limiting thoughts AWESEOME. Good for you.

  3. I can really relate angel.
    And it makes me so happy to read that you are so happy in yourself.
    You're doing amazing things and you should feel ever so PROUD :)
    And, I love that episode of Friends ;)

  4. what a wonderful and hopeful post. thank you. it's beautiful.

    i love your fashion and style blogs. very inspiring and so much fun.

    this is all great stuff.


  5. I like this post. I mean, I really, really like this post. I even printed it off the computer. Is that creepy? I hope not. I just really like this post (and you)!

    You are so strong, brave, and inspirational. It's obvious how much you've grown as a person and changed to be healthier and happier---to be who you really are!

    You're absolutely right. I am not a model. And no one cares how my pants fit but me. And I CAN enjoy life and social activities without fear, if I'll only keep these things in perspective. I don't need to look sickly; I need a healthy, womanly body and a warm, generous heart like you.

    Thanks for the great reminder. :)

  6. You are amazing.
    I am learning patience, too!
    It's amazing what I am able totolerate now.

  7. I how you used a bit of common sense perspective to work through disordered thoughts!! I have scaled back on my blog posting in a way because thinking about disordered thoughts and working through them made me give them WAY too much attention that they didn't need or deserve. I enjoy knowing what you're doing outside of that type of stuff to - you are so much more than a a woman who's struggled with healthy eating! :D

  8. Ahh, I got so excited when I saw Ross!
    I love that episode! I'm OBSESSED with the show. I've seen every episode like 80 times. haha, no but really, probably 6 times at least.
    Anywayyy, I am SOSOOSOOO happy for you Yasi! I cannot wait until I get to a place where I am as happy with my body as you are.
    Food has become so much less of an obstacle for me. And I can feel myself getting closer and closer to full recovery. but the weight gain is hard for me to accept, especially in the environment I am in, with all of my track teammates being as thin as eating as little as they do.
    it's something I want to blog about soon.

    Anyway, you truly are an inspiration. I love reading your posts *both ED-related and otherwise* and seeing the sweet/helpful comments you leave on my blog. Thanks so much for those.

    You are so beautiful. I'm glad that you are finally able to see that. :) *inside & out, btw*

  9. I absolutely loved reading this! How inspiring:)

  10. Wow this was very inspiring! I'm glad youve found how to be happy with yourself =) gives me hope!


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