I hope you're all having a great Monday. :) I want to address something that I've been thinking about. As you may or may not have noticed, the topics that I blog about have changed quite a bit. I haven't written about body or food related issues in some time, and there are a few reasons why. The most important, most exciting, and most fantastic reason is simple: because I haven't felt like I've had to.
Plainly, I have not been struggling with disordered eating or body image issues like I used to. I have somehow, miraculously, gotten to a place where most of the time I like the way my body looks, and most of the time I'm not over-thinking my food choices. Sure, there are days where I'm not happy with my body--nothing that I put on looks right, and I'm not completely comfortable with my physical self. But, the brilliant thing is that I now know that these days are normal, they will pass, and I will most likely not feel bad about myself in a week's time.
I have learned to be patient. ((Collective GASP!))
I have begun to cut myself some slack. ( Do I feel bloated and gross today? Well, it might be because I'm a woman, and that type of feeling is normal at a certain time every month. Key word: normal!)
I try, every day, to embrace my body shape and be appreciative of the history that resides in my shape. (Think about it-- many women in my family have this shape. My ass shape could literally be traced in my family tree! Cool stuff, right?!)
I tell myself, with the continuous help of my wonderful husband, that I am a 26-year old woman and that my body need not resemble that of a teenager.
I remind myself, daily, that my body is beautiful, healthy, and strong. I am not tired 24-7, I have energy to work out and PLAY (!!), and I can take part in any activity without the topic of food taking over as the foremost thought on my mind.
For the first time, in a very, very, long time, I am seeing life with a new set of eyes. I am enjoying so many things that I had missed out on in the past. Now, I look forward to gatherings with friends. I get excited about outings, BBQs, and trips. I am able to drink beer, wine, and other alcoholic drinks, and enjoy them guilt-free. This may seem very silly to some, but for years I did not partake in drinking because I was petrified of consuming liquid calories. Now, I allow myself to drink occasionally. I've even discovered that I love red wine, and some beers, too. Woohoo for being an adult!!!
I am also fascinated with dressing and outfitting my body with clothes that flatter my shape. More importantly, I have stopped forcing my body to be emaciated and thin so that I can fit into certain types of clothes that I deem cool. If something doesn't look good on me, well, that sucks-- but, on to the next!
Ultimately, I have learned to RELAX! This one is a big one for me. I've had to teach myself to calm down, let go, and that nothing is as big of a deal as I think it is.
I feel like my thighs look HUGE in these pants. I want to cry into my cereal. My day is ruined.
So what? Am I a model? (No.) Does my livelihood depend on the fit of my pants? (No.) Does it make me less of a person? (Nope.) Does this "problem" compare to any of the problems that 99.9% of the people in the world are dealing with right now? (No...*while shrinking away, embarrassed*)
A dose of perspective is sometimes the best way to pull yourself out of a rut.
My point is, my Lovelies, that these are the reasons why my blogging topics have changed. Now, I tend to desire blogging about fashion and style, rather than my every body-image issue. Because, incredibly, I can deal with most of the issues myself. :) Of course, I still read quite a few ED-related blogs and keep up with the ED-recovery community. I will always be passionate and involved in ED issues and topics.
Well, I must go work on my thesis.
You are amazing and I am tremendously grateful for your support, love, and wonderful words.