Saturday, October 30, 2010

Allergic Reaction to ED

Today I had what I believe was an allergic reaction caused by my ED.

Here's how it started....

We went to the gym, after not going for about a week.  I felt kind of down on myself and chubby.  I decided that it would be a great idea to get on the scale for the first time since, like, July; just to prove to myself that the weight gain was in my head.

Well, it wasn't.  114 stared right back at me.


I started freaking out.  I wasn't prepared for that number.  It was about 3 more pounds than I was hoping for.

I freak out.
I freak out.

I get on the elliptical.
I'm freaking out.

I call J over to talk with me while I'm on the elliptical.  I tell him I'm flipping out.  I'm almost hyperventilating.  My heart is beating fast.  There is a lump in my throat.  I feel like I'm about to burst into tears.
We talk for 10 minutes about how weight is just a number, and 114 is nothing, and my weight shouldn't dictate my self-worth, etc.

I think I'm ok, and I get on the treadmill.  I do my normal work-out of walking at a very fast pace at the highest incline, and my legs start to itch.

They itch so much.  They itch so much.  My legs are burning.  


I scratch my legs, but the itch gets worse.  Finally, I went off the treadmill, went to the locker room, and put generic locker-room lotion on them.  They burned even more.  

I put my own lotion on them.  Better.  But not by much.

I catch my reflection in the mirror.  I look bigger.  I know I look bigger.  Jesus.  I'm getting fat.

I start freaking out again.  My legs itch.  My legs itch so bad.  I still have 40 minutes of my work out left.  But I can't stay.  There's no way I can get through this burning itch and work out.

I tell J we have to leave because I can't work out anymore.  We come home and I take a benadryl.

I feel numb.  I'm freezing.  I'm wrapped up in a blanket.  J is trying to have normal conversation with me, and I just can't.  I'm trying to understand.  I'm trying to not think of anything.

Could my freaking out have caused an allergic reaction within my body?

I don't know.


  1. It is possible that you have a panic attack reaction which subsequently leads to hives.

    I have had that a lot in the past. I get swollen, itchy, and all that symptoms that comes with a panic/anxiety attacks.

    My suggestion:

    1) Take a bath then use oatmeal liquid soap with a poff ball. Scrub yourself in it then when you're done with the bath, then douse yourself in lotion.


    2) Take a deep breath. Do things that normally makes you happy.

    3) Yasi... THROW THAT SCALE OUT!

    :) Feel better okay?

  2. Thanks, Ash.

    I don't own a scale. I haven't in years. I weighed myself at the gym... :(

  3. Stay away from the scale! You're beautiful...don't let a number tell you otherwise! (I know, easier said than done).

    Also, you look great in your Halloween pics. Don't let the gym incident get you down. Just go back on Monday; it will make you feel better. :)

    Try to have a good Halloween, okay? I'm sending positive vibes your way!

  4. Ah...crippity crap.
    I get itchy when I feel yucky and am exercising, too...

    then I convince myself the itching is the new fat...GROAN...just too say I know what you went through.

    I REALLY think this hs something to do with water retention, heat, and nerves.

    Hope by now you are feeling better.


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